Entering the September of my years as Frank Sinatra sings, or the 4th quarter of life as some others have less charitably put it, reminds one of the importance of taking inventory and adjusting priorities. It is not about how many more years of life we can squeeze out, but rather, how much life, good work and impact we can still make with those years.
Though I have only once sent a telegram, I am old enough to have a lot of experience with landline phones, fax machines and was self-taught on a Memory-Writer, later MS DOS and Microsoft Windows, and all its many updates since. Never really an early adapter, I can download and figure out most phone apps, though I still HATE E-tickets.
As we are often led to express that ‘youth’ is wasted on the young, I will admit, in my late 20s near the start of my career, while serving as Press Secretary for then-Georgia Secretary of State Max Cleland, he insisted on writing in the word “youngest,” near the start of almost every title or job upgrade over the five years we updated his bio. Cleland was at the time in his middle 40s. Well… I get it now.
There can be quite a sudden shift from ‘Hey kid,’ to ‘…‘Wait a minute old Man‘ much quicker than you might think. I am also someone who tries to find and seek the better sides of life, the more optimistic vision and version – believing that if people are willing to work together and make compromises, that almost any objective IS achievable.
With that in mind, I thought I might share some of the benefits of aging, beyond AARP senior discounts and the occasional surprise of someone holding a door or an elevator and saying, ‘…After you sir’ though that latter pleasure is almost entirely limited to the south.
Perspective –
I am a bit too much of a control freak to ever be an easy-going or a WTH happens kind of guy, but age and some battle scars have taught me NOT to fight every battle, to understand that others have their own, well-formed opinions and preferences as well as personal history and backgrounds. Living awhile has brought out the Libertarian in me, so you can do or think what you want to, as long as you don’t harm or take from others in the process of doing that.
Empathy/Kindness –
I credit my mother with this one, but raising a special needs child and being a parent to two daughters, and now a grandparent, remind me daily of the many simple joys of life, if we take the time to appreciate them, as well as that manners, kindness and the empathy of living by the Golden Rule cost us nothing and can contribute so much to so many, with only the slightest of efforts.
Grandchildren –
If you know…you know, and I mean no insult to those without children, but becoming a grandparent makes all that earlier rollercoaster ride entirely worthwhile. I can also mention and strongly recommend that as life partners pass or marriages dissolve, you can still marry into becoming a grandparent, one of life’s great short-cuts.
Occasional Answers to the Mysteries of Life –
I still do NOT understand why women obsess over shoes, or how many of my friends can become more distressed over losing a particular football game than over losing a job… But I have figured out why weddings and funerals at times seem so similar and why your presence (when invited) is so important at both, for different reasons. Having said ‘See you later‘ too soon to too many good people, I also believe we get to move on to a better place, though I am still figuring out what all I may still need to do to get there.
And perhaps leaving the best benefit of aging for last, having lost entirely too many friends, family (my own blood brother) and hundreds of acquaintances at entirely too young an age… still living certainly beats the alternative. My cremation is prepaid, and I hope the Irish wake is long, the bar is open and the stories are funny…but I also still have a long bucket list, and plans through at least the early 2040s… or so.
